How to Raise a Happy Child

Here is a MSN article titled Seven Secrets to Raising a Happy Child.

Infant-Mother First-Year Relationship Predicts Child's Behavior Up to 13 Years

I was surprised to learn from a Science Digest article that the first year of a infant-mother relationship was predictive of the child's conduct later. The study was conducted at the University of Chicago. Within the study, infant temperament was paired with the mother's parenting skills. This study provides additional evidents that a focus on early childhood training could reduce delinquency. While reading the article, I wondered why the prediction ends at 13. Do kids become monsters at 13?

What Type of Teachers Parents Want?

Apparently many parents want teachers who make their children happy than teachers who focus more on academic achievement according to a University of Michigan study highlighted at Science Digest. There is a difference in expectation (happiness vs. academics) depending on socioeconomic status, however. Read more here.

Secret to Raising Smart Kids

Carol S. Dweck has written an article titled "The Secret to Raising Smart Kids" on the Scientific American Web site. I think the article makes some good points. Here is an excerpt from the article:

"Our society worships talent, and many people assume that possessing superior intelligence or ability—along with confidence in that ability—is a recipe for success. In fact, however, more than 30 years of scientific investigation suggests that an overemphasis on intellect or talent leaves people vulnerable to failure, fearful of challenges and unwilling to remedy their shortcomings.

The result plays out in children like Jonathan, who coast through the early grades under the dangerous notion that no-effort academic achievement defines them as smart or gifted. Such children hold an implicit belief that intelligence is innate and fixed, making striving to learn seem far less important than being (or looking) smart. This belief also makes them see challenges, mistakes and even the need to exert effort as threats to their ego rather than as opportunities to improve. And it causes them to lose confidence and motivation when the work is no longer easy for them.

Praising children’s innate abilities, as Jonathan’s parents did, reinforces this mind-set, which can also prevent young athletes or people in the workforce and even marriages from living up to their potential. On the other hand, our studies show that teaching people to have a “growth mind-set,” which encourages a focus on effort rather than on intelligence or talent, helps make them into high achievers in school and in life."

Parents Handling Children's Emotions

A University of Illinois study (detailed in Child Development, September-October 2007 issue) indicates that how parents handle a young child’s emotions can help the child gain experience in properly managing emotions. The researchers studied kindergartners and concluded that "When a young child is angry, sad, or frustrated, the best scenario seems to be if one parent comforts and problem-solves with the child while the other parent hangs back a bit and gives the child space to process what he's feeling," according to Nancy McElwain, a U of I assistant professor of human development (as reported in the Daily Science Digest).

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/09/070927133324.htm

Sermon Sign: Postmodern Parenting

I saw a sign on a church billboard: Postmodern Parenting -- What is the the right thing to do? I was confused, mainly from the idea of postmodern parenting. Postmodern, to me, had to do with lack of structure or rules, free form. To think a postmodern philosophy would be used in parenting would be asking for trouble. The more I research I see the pattern developing to indicate that children need more structure from parents for effective development. If postmodern parenting doesn't promote structure, where is a child to receive it? Also, if a child doesn't get it in the formative years, the door starts to close on certain positive behaviors that evolve from structure.

I considered contacting the minister of the church that displayed the sign for the sermon, but I thought that might end up with me receiving an impromptu sermon as well as an invitation to hear a live sermon.

I must admit the sign also caught my attention because I believe many parents are using the postmodern approach with their children. Actually, I see parents operating at either extremes: too controlling or too unstructured. Regardless, I think in many cases our society has failed to hold parents accountable enough. The recent proposal by the Escambia County School District (FL) to hold parents more accountable for students' school attendance--including jailing parents for students' excess absences--is a good start.